“One could argue that sixth grade is when you begin the struggle of developing a sense of self – of figuring out who you are. The opposite sex no longer has cooties, suddenly there’s the pressure to fit in, and your body is changing – it’s a confusing time. Now also in the mix of all this confusion for preteens is a whole nother social world – online. Today’s sixth graders don’t know a world without the iPhone and many of them own one; these devices are portals to the the online world of social media. While social media can open a world of self discovery and freedom to be who you truly are, it can also be detrimental to self-worth.” – Introduction from first draft of Social Media paper

“We are most comfortable being our true selves when we feel that we are free of judgement from others or where we do not care what people think of us; anonymous websites are the perfect environment. These types of social media sites can foster self-discovery for those that are uncomfortable expressing their true identity or specific aspects of themselves. danah boyd, a technology and social media scholar, in chapter one of her book, It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens, uses the example of an LGBTQ youth from conservative backgrounds. She spoke to a teen, who she described as “struggling who they are and how they fit into the broader world,”(page 52), that found anonymous chat rooms as “helpful..she relished the support and validation these strangers gave her,”(page 52). This teen felt she couldn’t be who she truly was in the physical world. She feared she wouldn’t have the support of her family, but from this anonymous site she felt free to reveal intimate feelings and received support of others who encouraged her to be herself in the physical world. Neuroscientist Susan Greenfield also agreed with this idea of anonymity allowing one to to reveal their true identity which she discusses in her novel, Mind Change: How Digital Technologies are Leaving Their Mark on Our Brains. Greenfield argues that anonymity has “allowed individuals to discover their repressed identities and learn more about themselves,” (page 113) which is direct connection to boyd’s example of the LGBTQ whom was repressing the sexuality aspect of their identity in the physical world, yet was open in the anonymous online site.” -Further developed body paragraph in the final draft

 

Since my first drafts are usually just the basis of ideas and getting initial thoughts on a page, I often do a second draft before the final. This is shown in the pictures above which is a second draft of the social media paper. In this draft I annotated things that I had already changed from the previous draft and commented on why, as well as pointed out areas I needed to change or further develop. Some of these changes were in response to peer’s comments, while others simply things I was noticing in review. For example, my header was not in MLA format which I fixed in the final draft. Further down there was another MLA error of in-text citation that I highlighted. In  my works cited page I added the comment that I needed to focus and further develop my integration of sources of just two of them. The final paragraph was an addition from the first draft, yet I acknowledged that it needed further development and analysis in the final paper which is exhibited that I did make this changed in the example paragraph above within the integration of sources. One of the areas that I needed to improve the most, and still do, is run on sentences. Above in the introduction I made the comment “got rid of over use of dashes in intro” (Sanborn, 1) as it had been pointed out that I used dashes in the first draft to often and lead to run on sentences. Although I made a conscious effort to avoid this mistake, it is a bad habit that still was apparent in my final draft. Though this course has brought it to my attention, therefore I will continue to improve in future courses.